Monday, September 24, 2007

The Bar Life

My letter to the editor did NOT get published as promised by Bay Times. (See my article two posts below, or click here.) I decided then to revise and update it, and resend it. Here is the result:

Dear Editor,

It is clear to me that Hole in the Wall Saloon's prolonged relocation difficulties is a matter of karmic justice, than of NIMBY politics and business rivalry. During my two-plus years as a regular patron, I have witnessed (and suffered) incredibly dark mojo that still continues. Here's a quick list of my grievances against Hole in the Wall:

- I was drugged and mugged by a patron of Hole in the Wall. No customer or bartender gave me any compassion or support, nor did they admit knowing the culprit. (I have since learned that some regulars, and most bartenders there, knew all along.)

- Before the mugging, I had formed an excellent friendship with one patron, Larkin. But immediately after I informed him of the attack, he ceased our association. And it continues to this very day (more than a year-and-a-half later).

- Some of Larkin's "friends" (including bartenders Gary C. and Chris A.) humiliated me, turning him against me. I had to endure this for MONTHS (that is, until I finally left that bar).

- Weekend bartender Chris A. did nothing when I was attacked by a somewhat large dog. Instead, he kicked me out, and let the dog and owner stay.

- I was threatened with severe violence by another patron (red-headed speed freak Chris), on Gary C.'s shift. Yet the bartender did nothing.

I finally left that bar to hang out at the Eagle Tavern...a place I found much friendlier and safer, at least for a while. Sadly, the gossip from Hole in the Wall followed me there. Obviously, some bartenders and patrons have manipulated Larkin to hate me. (I can barely IMAGINE the wicked gossip used against me, and why Larkin fell for it.) I was recently threatened from one loser named "Gypsy" who is friends with the above-mentioned Gary C., and hangs out at BOTH bars. The bartender on duty, Ron, failed to 86 (or even reprimand) him for threatening a patron. So my days at the Eagle may be numbered, too.

Being Buddhist at heart, I take the high road: "I have no enemies, only teachers." My goal is not vengeance, but justice. Those who play my enemy I hope to win as friends. Imagine what all this negative energy can do for gay rights here in Gay Mecca, once it's channeled into a positive route! I do have an excellent resolution in mind, to make this a win-win situation for all involved:

Larkin, I cherish the friendship we had for a while. I prayed that you'd get your old job back at the Tacqueria next door to "The Hole", and to have you return to South of Market, where you were the star for over seven years. I am the one behind welcoming you to the Eagle, when all other bars wouldn't have you. Just ask Ron. Truth is: we've BOTH been shafted, and the last thing these A-holes care to see, is the resumption of our camaraderie. My prayers for your return to SOMA have been answered in every way, and I only need to look forward now, to my return into your heart.

It is time to mend all damage done. But time has grown short. If you do not change your ways, this will all backfire, and what you wished against me shall come to avenge me instead. Larkin, your willful cooperation with such evil will only entrap you, unless you answer to your conscience NOW. You are my hero: don't fail me, or yourself.

I want Hole in the Wall to relocate UNDER MY TERMS:

Rename the saloon to "Larkin's Lagoon"...where Larkin will be the host and professional bouncer. He'll be paid a living wage including quality health care. A plywood cutout of Larkin (artfully painted, holding a cue stick in one hand, cigarette in the other, with his trademark sardonic smile) shall be attached to the front door, or beside it. Details on how the bar should be run will be left up to me, during negotiations with the owners.

This includes reducing alcohol consumption by 80%, and increasing marijuana use drastically, by including THC based concoctions. (Currently illegal, but we know it's the right thing to do in order to heal our community. At this point in our history, to NOT move in this direction makes us complicit with the persecution of our homophobic enemies. Can you say "speakeasy?")

In sum: I take heart from Buddha's words in the Dhammapada: "A fool is happy until his mischief backfires. And a good man may suffer until his goodness blossoms."

A more detailed account of my grievances and solutions can be viewed at my Gay Bible web site:
gay-bible.org/truetales/6_dark-mojo .htm

Sincerely,
Zeke Krahlin Gay Activist since 1973

tBlog - ZekeBlog